(My newest book, The Doctors Guide to Finding Joy in Your Work will be coming out on March 11th. Mark that date on your calendar and be one of the first to buy the book on Amazon. If you know others who need more joy in their lives, get an additional copy to give them as well. After reading the book, please leave a review on Amazon.)
Have you ever gone through a period in your medical career when you truly hated medicine? A period when you thought of giving up and doing anything but medicine? I had a time like that about a decade into my practice. It almost ended my career.
What should we do when this happens? One thing we should not do is quit medicine! Often it is not our job we hate, but some part of the job. If we can identify the true problem, then we have an opportunity to fix it. Once this is fixed, often we like or even love our job again. This phase does not need to be a career ending event.
If the time is not taken to identify the real problem, then changing jobs is not likely going to be a good solution. There is a decent chance the next job will contain the same issue, since it is still the same job but in a different location. Changing jobs is very expensive, so the best solution is to figure out what is wrong and fix it. I detailed the six-figure cost of physicians changing jobs in The Doctors Guide to Starting Your Practice/Career Right,
Here is my story of the time when I hated my job so much, I almost made the colossal mistake of quitting medicine. This story can be found in chapter 3 of The Doctors Guide to Finding Joy in Your Work.
Early in my career, I experienced a time when I hated medicine. I seemed to get mad about the slightest issue and I blamed medicine. I felt anger when I saw a patient. I felt anger when I drove by the hospital. I felt anger every time something connected with medicine came into my field of vision or was mentioned. This is a bad problem for a surgeon to have.
At the same time, there was an opening for a worship leader at our church. I was leading worship about every six weeks to give the main worship leader a break. He announced he was moving to another city, and I thought I could take over the main leader’s job and give up medicine, which I now hated. This move would change my vocation to a part-time job paying about $16K a year. I was seriously considering it because my anger level concerning medicine was off the charts.
I brought this up at a Bible study group and was asked the following question: Was I truly being called to give up medicine or was I just having a bad time? The answer to this question was a pivotal point in my life and I did not know the answer. It was suggested that everyone pray for me to discover the answer to this question during the following week.
The next week was absolutely the best week I had ever experienced in my career. People were telling me thank you for helping them and I had not heard that for a long time. I walked by the recovery room just as a code blue was called and I quickly saved a man’s life, something else I had not done in a while. I got a call from the emergency department on a day when I was not on call. The physician asked if I could please help him as I was the only person in town who had privileges to do what his patient needed. I said yes and the physician said he was so glad I was in town.
After this amazing week, I returned to the Bible study group and shared with them the fantastic week I had experienced. This last week made it very clear to me that I was not being called to leave medicine. So, it was suggested that maybe I just needed a sabbatical—a break from my routine. A time to rest and heal. The next day I went into my office and met with the office manager to pick a time for a one-month vacation.
During my time off, I set two goals. The first was to read the New Testament and the second was to figure out why I was so upset with medicine.
On the first day of my sabbatical, I discovered the answer. As I read the Bible that morning, the answer jumped off the page like a neon sign. That had never happened to me before. The message I received was that my problem was bitterness toward a single person.
One member of the hospital leadership had wronged me a few months before and I was so angry about this event that my anger was destroying my life. Everything involving medicine reminded me of his action. It was like I was drinking poison and hoping he would die. I don’t believe he was even aware I was so angry with him.
I switched gears and did a quick study on bitterness and how to overcome it. Turns out the solution is forgiveness. I needed to forgive him for what he did and just let it go. I did so and felt instant relief.
To reinforce my forgiveness, I made a large cash donation to a project he was passionate about. It was the largest donation I had ever made to any organization up until that time. I felt truly free and no longer was boiling over with anger.
I now had the remainder of my sabbatical to rest and rejuvenate. By the time I went back to work, I felt like a new person and had no more anger. I loved being a surgeon again.
Had I not sought the true reason for my anger concerning my medical practice, I might have thrown away my career by mistake. Sometimes it takes a little extra contemplation to ascertain the underlying real issue. Take time to find this true reason before acting or you might make a colossal mistake like I almost did.
Next time you notice a negative Aha Moment (when you say “I hate X”), stop to ask why. Why do you hate this? What about it bugs you? Does a particular issue or moment come to mind? Does this involve another person? Be very specific about what issue you hate. Stating “I hate my job” is too broad to be useful information. Figure out the true underlying problem so you don’t waste time solving a problem you don’t have but simply thought you had. You will find so much more joy in your life by discovering and solving your real issues.
On March 11th, pick up a copy of The Doctors Guide to Finding Joy in Your Work. Since we all spend about a third of our adult life working, I’d like to help you make that third as joyful as possible. We can all use a little more joy in our lives.
That was a great story. Thanks for sharing that chapter of your life (and book).